couple action - programmes

Every day couples are working on their relationships in one way or another.  It is mostly spontaneous and without even thinking.   However, important and all as this is, it is also important that couples would consciously engage in ways that will bring their relationship forward, especially by developing skills of communication and conflict management.   That is what programmes for couples all aim at.   These programmes can be either self-help, for the couple alone, or facilitated, for groups of couples in a more public forum.   Both forms are good and we encourage every married couple to pursue both.

A very good self-help programme for couples is the book The Seven Habits for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman and Nan Silver.   This is made up of some very good reading and discussion material and exercises for the couple to do that will help them reflect more deeply on their relationship.   We will recommend other self-help programmes at other times on this website.

However, Research tells us that facilitated Marriage Enrichment programmes show benefits greater than self-help approaches.   The most effective programmes tend to be highly structured, meaning they focus on particular skills, including communication, problem-solving, adaptability, and conflict management.   They also teach the importance of commitment, love, forgiveness and friendship.

Some of the programmes that are available in Ireland at present are:

• REFOCCUS, currently being developed by ACCORD countrywide.  This is a one night a week for five weeks programmes and is suitable for couples of all ages.
   
• Marriage Encounter, a weekend experience for couples that helps them to enter into the goodness and beauty of their marriage.   A follow-up is offered for those who want it.
   
• Retrouvaille, a weekend and follow-up programmes designed to help couples through difficult times in the marriage.
   
• Love is for Life, an organisation that offers the Cana weekend as a spiritual reflection on the marriage relationship.   A video programmes is also available called Together Forever.
   
• Teams of Our Lady, which offers couples the opportunity to become part of a group of couples that meets regularly to support and encourage each other in their efforts to grow in love.