relationship tips

1. Ask Yourself:   "Am I really listening fully to what my partner is saying or....am I assuming I already know what they think and want 'without having to hear it again!'"?
2. Ask Your Other:   "What have you thought that I didn't 'hear' clearly before, even if you tried to tell me more than once?"
3. Ask Each Other:   "Do we sometimes need to ask for an interpreter-translator because we find ourselves going into the very same old circles of limited understanding of each other?"  
   This could be a good but honest friend, not a "let's just get it over with you two" type.  This could be a professional counselor.   This could be finding other than the same words and phrases, using drawings, gestures, pantomime or poems to say in a very different way what is wanted or meant.
4. Tips to get Past Past Stuff and get into New Stuff:   Don't keep rehashing old hurts and insults when things are hot and angry.   Do focus on whatever is of concern in the moment.   Don't bring up anything older than 1 month ago.   Do talk about this current time period as what is relevant and important NOW.
5. Don't Think All Relationship Problems, misunderstandings and conflicts are either Your fault, or Their fault, or Our failure only.   ACCORD has seen and heard a similar pattern before probably and can offer you another version of how this one can go too.   Call us for help!
   Be Willing to Ask for Professional Help without shame, embarrassment or stinginess.   Invest in your Relationship like you would a financial or family business, to make it grow and thrive and give you plenty of rewards for a long long time to come.
6. Don't Put off now what You won't do Tomorrow Either.   Give Love a Loving Chance.   Give yourselves a bit of time and real effort to create the relationship you want & enjoy....before you 'kiss it off' in  disappointment or anger.
    

DO A PERSONAL ASSESSMENT OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP

PROBLEMS IN A RELATIONSHIP FROM A WOMAN'S PERSPECTIVE

1. You are frightened to get upset and you keep your feelings to yourself.  
2. Little things tend to upset you, and you try not to address the important concerns in your relationship. 
3. When your husband or partner is helping you it just doesn't seem right.
4. Your happiness and contentment depends on your husband or partner changing his ways.
5. You feel uncomfortable when asking for help and consideration. 
6. Your husband or partner is forever forgetting to put you first and remembering to do those small things that mean so much to you, like picking up something for the evening meal. 
7. When you are not content, and find no happiness in your relationship you think its your fault, and you are making a big issue out of nothing.
8. You feel your husband or partner no longer finds you attractive and this doesn't worry you any more.

PROBLEMS IN A RELATIONSHIP FROM A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE

1. Your wife or partner's feelings mystify you, and you tramp on her feelings and emotions by telling her she shouldn't feel like that.   
2. Your work or other problems have so taken over your thinking and energy levels that you find yourself only half listening to your wife or partner and your children.    
3. Other things distract you from the projects around the house that you promised your wife or partner you would do.    
4. You are concentrating so much on your job that you find you are forever forgetting to do those extra little things you promised you would do for your wife or partner.    
5. You can't understand why your wife or partner gets so upset over things that to you don't seem to matter.                                                                                  
6. You become impatient when your partner begins to try to communicate with you, or else you purposely don't listen.